No Anal Swab Required, Take the Reality Shed Rapid Test — You Might Be a Communist If…

We have seen a lot of changes since the globalist left decided to release communist China’s Covid on us all in late 2019 as part of the ultimate power grab (not just in the USA but everywhere at the same time). Some people are still in denial that it has actually happened, so we’ve put together a quick method to prove it to those who either really don’t know or who simply pretend to not know that they are communists (or are supporting communism).

If you think it is normal for the price of gasoline to rise from $1.68 right before Trump left office (January 20, 2020 at noon) to $5.39 just 16 months later under Biden (May 2022), you might be a communist.

If you then think that just 3 months later (August 2022) gasoline dropping in price but still being more than double what it was just 19 months ago is “great news”, you might be a communist.

If you attend parties while other people are in lockdowns YOU implemented, you might be a communist.

If you get your hair cut maskless (by a masked stylist) while others begin to resemble cavemen, you might be a communist.

If you are the Chairman of Disney, Amazon, Twitter, Apple, PepsiCo, Facebook, OR China, you might be a communist.

If you host a late night ‘comedy’ show where you do a monologue, you might be a communist (or you might be Greg Gutfeld, but the odds of that are slim).

If you refuse to use long established methods for determining economic indicators (like changing “year over year” to “month to month” for comparison to hide your intentional destruction of the economy, you might be a communist.

Testes, testes, one, two…three?! Is this thing on?

If you think that math is ‘muh racist’ despite it having been invented over 7000 years ago in Sumer (ancient Mesopotamia, where Iraq is now, per the oldest written records we have; cuneiform tablets) by non-whites, you might be a communist.

If you think that after hundreds of millions of years there are now suddenly more than two genders (in ANY species), you might be a communist.

If you are constantly changing the definitions of words to suit your agenda, you might be a communist.

If you are Mika, Anderson, Whoopi or basically any one of 90% of the talking heads on MSM today, you might be a communist.

If you think cloth is magical and blocks a virus despite not blocking smoke particles that are much larger than ANY virus*, you might be a communist (and you ARE a ‘science denier’).

If you believe murder is a choice (and as a babies DNA is 50% from each parent and therefore unique from the mother’s so that is what abortion actually is), you might be a communist (and again, a ‘science denier’, oh and soulless).

If you think that man has more control of our environment than the Sun (which is 99.86% of the mass of our solar system, and has cyclical patterns of heating and cooling), you might be a communist (and one last time, a ‘science denier’).

“I get no respect, no respect at all… when I was a baby, I was breastfed by my father!”

Get out of here Rodney!

If you think people can afford switching to a $60,000 electric car they’ll never find a place to charge during trips and whose battery is both expensive to replace (usually about as much as the cost of the car itself) and can catch fire or explode, you might be a communist.

If you attend award ceremonies maskless while masked minions flitter around you catering to your every whim, you might be a communist.

If you think Usurper Joe shaking hands with a ghost (at least twice on video now) is normal, you might be a communist.

If you deny an unnecessary RAID against a man (who is cooperating fully with you, and that you already stole an election) from for a crime Hillary actually committed already is a RAID, you might be a communist. Or the FBI.

If you believe that the FBI staging a kidnapping for a governor and framing Patriots in the process isn’t pure fucking evil, you might be a communist. Or…the FBI, or both.

If you think that men can become women and women can become men, you might be a communist. You are also a DNA denier as DNA is ‘settled science’!

If you take frequent private jet trips but demand others hang their clothes out to dry instead of using a machine inside their home or demand they stop taking showers to cut down on energy use for heating the water, you might be a communist.

If you don’t think WE THE PEOPLE know who you are, what you are doing, and won’t find a way to stop you, you might be a communist.

Lastly, if you self-identify as a Democrat you don’t need the anal swab OR our rapid test. You ARE a fucking communist, no ‘might’ about it.

I can’t sit here all day long thinking of these, so please feel free to add your own in the comments section (below). The best ones will get added to the article with a credit to you! We might also update by adding more of our own here later, or making a second article someday. Or we can all pretend this didn’t happen. (whistles while walking away…)

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (for stealing the ‘Redneck’ idea), and I guess to Rodney Dangerfield too. The rest, for better or worse, is all the Shed’s own “unfunny article writing AI bot”. Did I quote that correctly?

*that would be the same as putting up chainlink fencing to block mosquitos, genius.

UPDATE 08.11.2022 242pm: I can’t quit you article! My sub-conscious thought of these after posting…
If you object to the term ‘groomer’ despite openly grooming children you didn’t abort, you might be a communist.

If you believe children should have ‘story hour’ but only if it is hosted by ‘drag queens'[SIC], you might be a communist.