Run a Leftist ‘News’ Site, Reality Shed’s Quick Tip Plan Blueprint to Becoming a Billionaire Publisher Virtually Overnight

You want to be a billionaire, and you’ve dreamed about publishing alt-far-left-communist-democRAT-extremist hate speech for years, but you just didn’t know how to get started. We hear you, and we have the answers you’ve been looking for. It isn’t as difficult as logic would lead you to believe either. In fact, it is as easy as 1, 2, 3. Let’s begin!

Step one is the most important, and you can’t skip it. You need to develop a strong hatred of the United States, our form of government (a Constitutional Republic) AND have an innate desire to see it toppled and replaced with a communist dictatorship led by sellouts to communist China (like you). Easy as Borscht!

Step two is a little more difficult, and you’ll need a vagina for this. If you don’t have a vagina then it gets a little tricky, but you might be in luck as most democRATs believe that women and men are the same thing. Fingers crossed as you find a ready made democRAT billionaire and then throw that vagina (or whatever God actually gave you*) at that probable man (there just aren’t many female billionaires; under 12% so less than 1 in 8), and pray (to whatever demon you worship) that it works.

Step three is all about patience. If everything went well you just need to wait for the billionaire who caught the vagina (or whatever) you threw at them to die. Your mileage may vary here as this could take up to 20 years (say from 1991-2011 as an example), then you merely get your inheritance and buy The Atlantic then fill it with lies and hate aimed at true Patriots (and your betters in every way…except of course for that magical vagina of yours).

Congratulations. If you have followed this quick tip plan blueprint to the letter you are now a billionaire leftist ‘news’ site owner named Laurene Powell-Jobs. Well done you “feckless cunt**” communist bitch. And if you doubt anything written here, go type ‘the atlantic Trump’ OR ‘the atlantic Republicans’ OR ‘the atlantic toothless protest bee ivanka’ into your favorite search engine and read those headlines. Also, if the word misogynist is entering your mind it is just because you are a misandrist.

*And now it becomes obvious why we can’t guarantee THIS plan as there are just too many moving parts, especially if you don’t have said vagina.

**Direct quote from the recently fired (FINALLY!) Samantha Bee about Ivanka Trump that The Atlantic and other communist extremists loved to quote, just as they championed the recent illegal RAID of Mar-A-Lago.