Relax You Are Superfluous, Great News For Slackers as WEF Decides Earth Doesn’t Need Them to Function

Sometimes the struggles of daily life are enough to get anyone down. Now Klaus Schwab (who just revealed his nickname is ‘Box’) and his World Economic Forum (WEF) want to help. Their completely selfless and unevil plan is designed to put an end to depression and anxiety forever in the least James Bond-ian villain way ever and provide you with a sense of ‘renewal’.

They want to get the word out quickly so they just had their #1 hit man, I mean advisor, futurist and historian Yuval Noah Harari announce that it is time to take a load off for most of the global population. Democrats are rushing to volunteer…anyone else they can think of…for this new program as that is what good little Nazis (national SOCIALISTS, which like all other socialists are left wing) do. And that is where you come in, or actually go out.

The process begins with you getting a cool ‘palm flower crystal’ on your hand (a red spot you can think of like a ‘lifeclock’…because it is), and although it looks strange it just feels like getting a shot (or 5). Then they will schedule you for a trip to an arena. Once there and after donning a renewal mask and robe you will simply stand in a circle waiting (think of it like the last BMV visit you’ll ever be required to make).

The last step (think of it like a ‘carousel’) then begins and before you know it you feel like you are floating on air…likely because you will actually be floating on air. Soon you will feel a brief shock and all of your troubles will vanish forever. Such a simple and final solution that some might wonder why nobody thought of this non-risky (for WEF) scheme before!

For those who can’t find the arena, there ‘is an app’ for that too, which the nearest ‘stickman’ will be happy to ‘go over’ you with…uhm, with you, go over with you. It now seems obvious that ‘Logan’s Run’ is truly one of the greatest documentaries ever, along with ‘Idiocracy’. And if someone who says you don’t matter approaches you with a shot you need to stand and fight or cut and run. You don’t roll up your sleeve.