For those hoping we had run out of ways to insert Marx Brothers references into articles, you are out of luck. You should also know that they made THIRTEEN (13) movies. Okay, 12 and a half.

The last one, ‘Love Happy’ (1949), was originally supposed to be a solo project for Harpo, but the unscrupulous producer first tricked him into adding Chico for a few scenes, and then suspecting he wouldn’t say no if both older brothers were involved, he finally got his real prize…Groucho, and the use of the team name.

The movie bombed, but had a few good gags. The three are never in a scene together (hence the half), and during the rooftop chase at the end, Chico was actually doubled by Harpo in disguise, since Chico had already left for a tour of Europe with his band when re-shoots were needed.

The lead singer of the ‘Chico Marx Orchestra’ was a then 17-year-old Mel Tormé, who of course went on to great fame playing an exaggerated version of himself on the TV show ‘Night Court’ (1984–1992).

Get to the point already!

Okay. But check out this scene first, since it inspired this article.

It is from ‘Horse Feathers’ (1932, movie #4) and involves ‘Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff’ (Groucho), who has just been named the new president of Huxley College, trying to enter a speakeasy near the end of Prohibition, the door of which is guarded by ‘Baravelli’ (Chico), in order to recruit two football players for the big game.

He ends up getting two ice delivery men instead, the other of whom, ‘Pinky’ (Harpo), is also a part-time dog catcher.

While attempting to guess the password to enter (Wagstaff is given the hint that it is the name of a fish), his third and final attempt goes thusly…

“Wagstaff: I got it! Haddock!
Baravelli: Atsa funny, I gotta haddock too.
Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well now, sometimes I take aspirin, sometimes I takea Calomel.
Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calomel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate Calomel. I like that too, but you no guess it.” — from marx-brothers.org.

The Marx Brothers (who loved to adlib), and their many talented writers, thrived on wordplay. We kind of have an affinity for it too.

This was also the last of two movies that Thelma Todd did with the Marx Brothers (following ‘Monkey Business’ in 1931). She also worked with Laurel and Hardy, and Buster Keaton, and starred in the original 1931 version of ‘The Maltese Falcon’ with Ricardo Cortez as Sam Spade.

Nicknamed ‘Hot Toddy’ (which we endorse) and ‘The Ice Cream Blonde’, Thelma was found dead at 29 in a parked car in a garage in 1935. She was briefly married to a man with mob connections, but the death was ruled “accidental with possible suicide tendencies” (despite no suicide note). She owned a restaurant and was still acting at the time too.

So, what is Calomel and why would you take it for a headache (or a haddock)?

What would later be known as Calomel was first discovered in Persia (where Iran is today) around 850 AD. It became known to Western medicine in 1608, and gained the name Calomel in 1655.

Soon it was being prescribed for virtually every ailment, including influenza, syphilis, cancer, gout, bronchitis, and even headaches.

Around 1840 a researcher named Benjamin Rush coined the term “heroic dose” and, with support from Dr. Samuel Cartwright, Calomel began being prescribed in larger doses than before.

Calomel even came in flavors, such as wintergreen. Surely something wintergreen flavored can’t be harmful to you!

At least some thought that was true until ‘wintergreen communism’ came along…

Eventually, though, it was realized Calomel was doing more harm than good for the various maladies it was being taken for.

The problem is that it is made with Mercury (MERCURY!!!). Yes, that stuff they put in thermometers, not the closest planet to the Sun in our solar system, nor the original and now deceased lead singer of the rock group ‘Queen’.

We now accept that ingestion of Mercury is bad. In fact, all mercury is toxic to humans. Exposure can harm your kidneys, liver, immune system and nervous system.

With pregnant women, it can not only harm them, but also the child they are carrying. Even children under 14 are more sensitive to exposure as their nervous systems and brains are still developing.

In fact, the only thing more harmful to kids under 14 is adults who insist DNA isn’t real and surgery can alter the sex you were born as.

Using Calomel led to the death of the brother of Joseph Smith (the Mormon founder). It was also used by Charles Darwin and likely led to his insanity, including the THEORY of evolution (pushed by leftists as the ‘proven fact’ of evolution, ignoring the Piltdown Man fraud earlier used as proof).

It seems nonsensical today that anyone would ever think that mercury was healthy for us to ingest. But at one point, ‘the science‘ told us that it was actually okay…and even that larger doses were healthier!

Just because something is old, that doesn’t mean that it is still not useful. Look at leeches. No, not democRATs and RINOs, the kind of leeches that look like worms, rather than looking like people and just acting like worms.

People scoff today, but leeches have been used in medical treatments for over 3000 years now. Today they are used after plastic surgery to promote quicker healing of the wound.

The 1800’s also had its own version of the Beatles, but for medicine. This Fab Four consists of Morphine (1827), Nitroglycerin (1867), Insulin (1869) and Aspirin (1899).

Morphine is used for pain, and is basically the original Oxycodone or Fentanyl. Nitroglycerin relaxes the veins and arteries leading to the heart, which relieves chest pain. Although Insulin wasn’t used to treat diabetes in humans until 1920, its discovery occurred 52 years earlier. And Aspirin can relieve pain, reduce inflammation, and also reduce the odds of developing blood clots.

The point is that the same type of people now pushing cloth as blocking a virus (it does NOT) and ‘the vaxx‘ as being safe (it is NOT), once pushed Calomel!

When they claim that there is a medical consensus, there is NOT. When they claim that there is a scientific consensus, there is NOT. There was never a vote on either, and they only achieve those through censorship and intimidation tactics. What they are pushing is the particular agenda of so-called leaders of an ill-purposed group.

There is a LOT of money to be made from cutting off breasts and penises, as well as injections of God knows what, and from setting us on a course back to the 1800’s for travel and devices. The left already want poison in our bodies, so Mercury might just make a comeback yet. Reality is now a cult. Swordfish!

The reality is that everything comes with a risk. You are ‘at risk’ as soon as you get out of bed in the morning, but also ‘at risk’ if you remain in bed all day.

Nobody promised life would be easy, and everywhere you turn someone is trying to sell you on the idea that some form of insurance is necessary.

The most famous example is the Kenyan Messiah, but Killary Klinton (aka Hillary Clinton) pushed the government takeover of health insurance long before Barack Obama did. She is also the ‘original birther’, having gone after him on that issue during their 2008 democRAT Primary battle, which is LONG before anyone else ever did.

So, when aren’t you at risk? Easy! Before you are born, and after you die. Other than that, you are always at risk, even if you don’t believe you are.

Which brings us back to insurance. There are all kinds, but the main types are expensive and cheap. What they cover doesn’t really matter, so much as the cost of the coverage does.

And that is where the old ‘cost-benefit analysis’ comes into play. Boring but necessary. Actuarial tables aren’t going to write and read themselves after all. Someone has to do it, and they are destined to both live and die alone.

Basically, the cost-benefit analysis simply compares the costs to the benefits of any action (or inaction) when both are expressed as monetary units.

Not to be confused with the risk-benefit ratio, which examines the risk of a given action compared to the potential benefits of that same action. In that case, the human factor weighs heavily on the potential risk.

For those completely out of the loop, and congratulations, actuarial tables can involve things like mortality or life expectancy, and are simply statistical methods used by someone interested to predict how, when and why a person will croak…we mean die.

Which leads us to an interesting example of insurance in action. We wanted to use poker professional Phil Hellmuth (who won the World Series of Poker Main Event in 1989) constantly asking to buy insurance to protect his hand when he is a favorite, but couldn’t find ANY footage of that online, and linking to an article about it would be boring (see this very one as an example), so we had to settle for jewelry theft.

Back in 2016, Kim KarTRASHian (aka Kardashian), was in Paris, France, for some whoring or something, and a group of masked men (likely practicing for ‘the covid’) took ALLEGEDLY $10 million worth of her jewelry from her and may have had a gun and knife. We don’t know, as we weren’t there.

Supposedly, Kim was bound and gagged, which for her is foreplay. The men had used her own internet posts to track her down, which points out the obvious flaw in detailing every minute of your day on socialIST media.

According to various reports, she either recovered NONE of the jewelry, or 1-2 pieces of it. Originally, 5 men were accused, but in the end 12 men went to trial over it. One of the accused, Yunis Abbas, said that Kim actually called 911 in the USA…from Paris…during the incident.

Despite what Kim had claimed the jewelry was worth, the insurance company paid her $6.1 million, then sued her for the same amount. The lawsuit was settled 2 years later, and the terms are undisclosed.

So, given THIS example, why is insurance a thing? Confusing, isn’t it? And if you think that is bad, look up the poker insurance thing. Even the people involved in that, on both sides, don’t understand it. They just like the action.

Hopefully you are all enjoying our site format change (announced HERE) as much as we are in bringing it to you. We are having so much fun learning about insurance that we are now considering becoming an insurance agent ourselves. Jamison, take a letter…

We wrote the other day about our experiences with ‘Great Harm’ insurance, AKA State Farm. Wow! That quickly became our 3rd most popular article ever. We heard you loud and clear, and are immediately switching gears site-wise.

We have long been interested in politics, and after being ‘sent to moderation’ over and over again for comments on Breitbart (for using words like ‘black’ as in “licorice is black” or “the sky is black at night” or “that baseball hit us in the face and gave us a black eye”, or ‘monkey’ during covid when they were injecting zoo animals with ‘the vaxx’, or back in the day ‘Soros’ although you can say that there now) we decided to start our own site so we could speak truthfully and freely.

Plus, be free to curse if we felt we needed to do so. Basically like John Nolte articles on Breitbart. For those who don’t go there, he is the one who is on our side, except on ‘the vaxx’ and masking (he has repeatedly attacked MAGA folks for resisting that tyranny).

John, who likes to sprinkle his articles with ‘F bombs’, also ignored AT&T ownership of CNN for the five years covering their purchase and sale of that propaganda channel. We emailed he and the site (along with posting comments about it) asking why. No answer. FOR 5 YEARS!

We checked beforehand with the hosting provider we ended up choosing to go with, and they assured us that as long as what we said was legal in the United States, we were good to go.

Speaking of cursing, we heard from a new reader to our site the other day. A woman we won’t name directly, but who goes by the alias of ‘mom’, who read that insurance article (her first visit since the site went live in late July 2022), said we are good at writing but need to stop cursing.

Her objection was in regards to our comments on ‘Runaround Sue’. We reminded her that Sue called us a liar first, which ended that conversation. And yes, even 10-year-old cartoon boys have mothers.

One thing we do not do is lie. You might disagree with us, but that isn’t lying. We might even make a mistake occasionally, and we strongly encourage those expecting that to happen to begin holding their breath now. But intentionally misleading someone isn’t in our repertoire, which ‘aka mom’ should know.

That said, steal from us or lie about us and the game is on. Served hot or cold, revenge is still tasty.

Anyway, we had long had this unique format in mind, mixing sarcasm and MAGA commentary with memes (found or created), which nobody else was doing. We don’t do ‘photoshop’ like one well known site, although we dabbled in that (see one example HERE, and two others HERE) and might do so again.

We also try to make our commentary timeless, as in not tied only to one event on a certain day. At one point, we were producing 3-4 articles a day, but anyone who writes knows that was a pace that couldn’t last. Plus, we feel that we need a unique take on any subject we tackle. You can go anywhere for “Democrats bad!”

And apparently you do.

So, along with real life getting in the way, production slipped. We felt badly about that, but call it writer’s block or whatever, repeating the same thing others are saying isn’t a great way to spend time.

Then the X-Wing Starfighter vs Killer Whale thing happened and, thanks to Sue, we had a hit.

For those curious, here are our top 5 all-time articles by views:

1) You Can’t Unvaxx II, At Least Three More Victims Get Thrown Onto The Top Of Covid Sacrificial Pile By Alt-Far-Left

2) Like Mike, Barack Obama’s ‘Wife’ Unveils White House Portrait Of Self As ‘First Lady’ Entitled “Battle Of The Bulge”

3) Like A Bad Neighbor ‘Great Harm’ Don’t Care!, Pro-Trans Leftist Insurance Company Partially Denies First Ever Claim

4) Collusion In Real Time, Left Denies It But Twitter Spam Attack On Elon Musk Obviously Coordinated By Vindman Group

5) Left’s Favorite Target, Store Chain Embraced Woke And Felt Wrath Ever Since As Hundreds Of Millions Of Losses Mount

The article at the top of that list is odd since the first part (“You Can’t Unvaxx, So Far Three Republican Governors Move To Save Children As Adults Continue To Make Stupid Decisions“), written just the day before, isn’t even close (sitting at #98 as of today).

Since all 42 of you loved that State Farm article so much, we will now make the necessary adjustments in order to keep the site going and you happy. We vow to produce only the finest in insurance commentary and memes (discovered or made from scratch).

And it won’t just be automobile insurance as we discussed prior. No, we will be deep-diving into health insurance and any other type of insurance we can find, because that appears to be what you want.

Our new motto is, “You asked for it, you got it, coverage…of insurance!” That is our promise to you.