I’m As Fragile As Glass…Except When Banging A Porn Star, Pelicans PF Zion Williamson Represents Pansy Marxist NBA

While not writing, we did a lot of prep that we never used (writing headlines, finding or making memes, and even starting articles). Our motto is “if you think of something, type it in!”. It would be a shame if it went to waste, even if slightly dated. So one such topic is being merged with something that just happened.

Julius Erving, who just a year ago had his number officially retired across the entire NBA, recently released his all-time top 10 players list. Then he took a heap of grief for it, despite everyone being entitled to their own opinion, unless that opinion is communism (and then they are entitled to your opinion too, along with everything else you own).

“I have five guys who are untouchable – Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, Oscar Robertson, Jerry West, and Elgin Baylor. That’s my all-time best team. …I made this decision when I was 15 years old. I’m sticking with it now all these years later.”, Erving said.

More than you would think were offended that he left current players off the list. ‘Dr. J’ explained that he only chose people whose careers were over. Cue more complaints.

Make your own list folks! THIS is the result of the monolithic thought being forced on us by leftists. If you don’t agree with what they believe (most often, wrongly), you are evil. We are surprised they haven’t called Julius a ‘white nationalist’ for leaving Lebron and Steph off of his list.

He also left probably the two most dangerous players at the end of a game off of his list: Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. If you are the opposing team, you definitely don’t want the ball in their hands with seconds left.

Personally, we don’t follow sports like we used to. We do check how our favorite teams are doing from time to time, but we never watch games anymore. We read a lot instead. We’ve also grown partial to rugby, which we tried watching because we missed sports.

We missed sports, and gave it a…’try’…LOL…and find it superior to American football, which actually developed out of…rugby. They play both ways (offense and defense) and the action seldom stops.

That is a lot of ellipsis…ellipses…periods.

So far, we’ve just watched national teams play full 15 on 15 games, except for one 7 on 7 game which we found ridiculous. The USA team is currently ranked 18th in the world.

The sheer amount of teamwork surpasses anything we’ve seen in the NBA, NFL or MLB. Our one gripe is everyone ‘hook kicking’. Most of the time, they would make those just lining up straight on, even at an angle (for conversion kicks, after a ‘try’ they line up down the field from where they enter the ‘in-goal area’, which makes the kicks a lot more difficult than an ‘extra point’ in football).

We also haven’t seen anything woke in rugby except for ONE ad running on the digital signs during one game from a few years ago.

Now back to the racist drug-addict commies.

The only thing the NBA (or NFL or MLB) players and owners want is your time and money. They do NOT care about you at all! So why care about them, and why feed that obviously left-wing behemoth?

The recent NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement (or CBA, not to be confused with the NBA’s old feeder system, the Continental Basketball Association, which Detroit Pistons legend Isiah Thomas killed off), now allows marijuana use by players. So if you still watch that sport, just know that every fucking player on that court is high.

We are not 420 friendly, we are 420 hostile.

We probably lost a few of you there, and that is okay. We have our reasons. Our philosophy is that if you are going through life high or drunk (or both), then you are living wrong.

It is still a drug, and we were right when we said that those pushing it to be legalized and accepted would ultimately push it on kids, which they ended up doing with so-called edibles.

The alt-far-left has proven that all they need is a foot in the door (see gay ‘marriage’) and pretty soon they are chopping off dicks and tits, and pumping ‘the drugs’ into our kids.

But that is a future article, and this one is about the most fragile men in the NBA. This current crop is incredibly soft (just like a MyPillow, or their Giza Dreams sheets; use promo code RealityShed or Reality Shed for a nice discount), and is likely the softest group to EVER play the game. Until then there was no such phrase as ‘load management’.

What should happen is paycheck management, as in if you don’t play you get paid less. Especially the bullshit Ben Simmons pulled. He is just one of several ‘Mr. Glass’ level players shamed, uhm, we mean named below.

Wow, this started off as such a simple writing idea. Zion and Dr. J. Oh well.

On Tuesday, June 6, 2023 (finally, this is the slightly older part…), Zion Williamson (aka ‘Mr. Glass’, like the villain character that the racist communist Samuel LEROY Jackson played in the super-hero trilogy [‘Unbreakable’ (2000), Split (2016), and Glass (2019)] by M. Night Shama Lama Ding Dong aka M. Night Shyamalan), announced he and his girlfriend were having a baby together.

Do you know what a child born out of wedlock is called? Illegitimate, or a bastard child. In fact, to promote promiscuity, the left now insists that that last term is offensive now. The bastards!

This is another example of the left changing our language to change society in the direction of their communism.

This is also similar to, what do you call someone who can speak a language but can’t read and write it? Illiterate. Equally true, although most people don’t feign offense at that.

Preparing for this, we saw a meme that started off with “The Zion Williamson Fanbase Is Dying”. Not entirely true, he is actually eating them off.

Anyway, porn star Moriah Mills followed Zion’s announcement with one of her own. She says that they have been having sex since 2021, and that he has promised to dump his girlfriend and be with Moriah. Mills even claimed that…gasp…she might also be pregnant.

Who cares, right? We only mention their ‘drama’ to point out that Zion’s many injuries haven’t prevented him from being a male slut.

His punishment for his actions (whoring and missing games) was…a 5-year rookie max extension worth at least $193 million, and possibly up to $231 million if he achieves certain incentives.

Zion has spent 4 seasons in the NBA, all with the New Orleans Pelicans. Entering the league in 2019-20 at 19 years of age. He has never played 82 regular season games in any season. He missed his entire 3rd season in 2021-22 with a foot injury. He has averaged 38.0 games a year (114 / 3) or 0.46342 of the games his team played. Pathetic!

He isn’t alone though, and since we haven’t used this analogy in a few days, here is the rest of our NBA Fab Four of slack:

Kawhi Leonard has spent 12 seasons in the NBA, entering the league in 2011-12 at 20 years old: 7 seasons with the San Antonio Spurs, 407 games (the last season there he played just 9 games), one season with the Toronto Raptors 60 games, and 4 seasons with the Los Angeles Clippers (although he missed the entire 2021-22 season with an ACL injury). He has never played 82 regular season games in any season. He has averaged 57.091 games a year (628 / 11) or 0.6962 of the games his team played. Very not good!

Anthony Davis has spent 11 seasons in the NBA, entering the league in 2012-13 at 19 years old: 7 seasons with the New Orleans Hornets / Pelicans and 466 games played, and 4 seasons with the Los Angeles Lakers and 194 games played. He has never played 82 regular season games in any season. He has averaged 60.0 (660 / 11) or 0.732 of the games his team played. Fragile!

Ben Simmons has spent 7 seasons in the NBA, entering the league in 2016-17 at 20 years old. His first 5.5 seasons were spent with the Philadelphia 76ers, but he missed his entire first season with a foot injury, and also his last half season there claiming mental health issues, for 275 games played. He was then traded to the Brooklyn Nets and didn’t play his first half season there (claiming a back injury), before playing 42 games last season. He has never played 82 regular season games in any season (he just missed it in his second season, when he played 81). He has averaged 63.40 (317 / 5 played out of 7 in the league), or 0.7732 of the games his team played. Weak sauce!

Ben also thinks he is being paid to play “defense-ball” instead of basketball. Scoring is implied in the name of the game, dude!

And what of the fans who pay to attend these games thinking star players will be there and discover they overpaid for an incomplete product? Fraud!

We had already picked the antithesis of the current crop of players before seeing Dr. J’s actual list. And that player was…Wilt Chamberlain.

Unfair comparison? Hey, each of these guys all think they are the best player ever, so we will compare them to ONE of the best players ever. Or as piece of shit JJ Redick claimed, a guy who played against “firemen and plumbers”.

Wilt entered the NBA in the 1959-60 season at the age of 23. This was after 3 years of college and one year with the Harlem Globetrotters. Why? Back then, the NBA was sensical enough to not hire children. You couldn’t be drafted unless your college class had graduated, hence Wilt’s Globetrotters year.

He is listed as being active for 15 seasons, but he sat out his last season, 1973-74, in a contract dispute (see below).

His first 5.5 seasons were spent with the Philadelphia / San Francisco Warriors (they moved to SF before his 4th season). He was then traded to the new Philadelphia 76ers (the relocated and renamed Syracuse Nationals) in the middle of the season and remained there for 3.5 seasons.

He then spent the next 5 seasons with the Los Angeles Lakers, and when he didn’t sign his option year contract they insisted he was still required to play for them, but he had already signed with the ABA (American Basketball Association) San Diego Conquistadors as head coach and player for 2 seasons. A judge later ruled that he could coach but not play, siding with the Lakers.

Wilt ‘coached’ one season (with assistant Stan Albeck, who had also been an interim head coach before and would be a head coach again, actually doing most of the coaching, as it bored Chamberlain), then he retired.

This one really got away from us. Home stretch now though.

The number of games varied back then. It was 75 for the first season, 79 for the second, 80 each of the next 5 seasons, then 81 for one, and finally the current 82 for his last 6 seasons. That totals 1127 possible games his team played.

Wilt played 1045 regular season games (or .927241%) over 14 seasons for 74.643 games per season when the average played over those seasons was exactly 80.5 games.

He missed games in 5 seasons (3, 7, 1, 1 and 70). In his 11th season (1969-70) he played the first 9 games, rupturing his patellar tendon of his right knee in that last game, then came back for the last 3 games of the season AND the playoffs! They lost in the Finals in 7 games to the New York Knicks.

Over his career, Wilt averaged 30.1 points per game, including averaging 50.4 and 44.8 in back-to-back seasons, and including 7 other seasons over 30 points per game and 5 other seasons over 20 points per game. His last two seasons were his worst (14.8 and then 13.2).

He also averaged 22.9 rebounds per game over his career, 45.8 minutes per game (out of 48!), 4.4 assists and just 2.0 fouls per game (he never fouled out of a game). AND he claims to have slept with over 20,000 women, yet had no children (and thus no ‘baby-mommas’).

His one weakness was caused by embarrassment. He could only shoot free throws accurately underhanded, like Rick Barry (89.3% career) did. He stopped doing that and fell into Shaq territory afterwards.

One coach suggested shooting them as jump shots, which is allowed, but he felt that would only call even more attention to his deficiency, and he ended his career at 51.1% FT made (he was 28 of 32 on FT in his 100 point game).

Wilt was also a Republican who denounced black nationalists, including the Black Panthers, and he even attended MLK Jr’s funeral with Richard Nixon, who he supported for President in 1968 and 1972.

Lastly, in Wilt’s last season, at 36, he set a FG% record (.727) that stood from 1972-73 until 2019-20, and is still #2 all-time for a single season. He actually still holds 3 spots in the top 23 for that category.

This could be done with any number of good quality players, not just with Wilt. The entire point is that modern guys can play, they just can’t stay on the court BUT they want to be paid as if they did.

They just don’t make them like they used to! The NBA is now a league of soft racist (that is what BLM is) potheads pushing cultural marxism.

EDIT: 08/18/2023, We don’t normally come back to add to an article, but we just discovered this short video and wish we had seen it before publishing so it could have been added to the article then.